4/19/2022

“Why are you so upsetti?”

You said no negativity at night, so I have to shut myself down even if I want to talk, yet you still ask.

We’ve agreed on no headphones in bed but you still fucking continue after shutting off the show we watch, and it seemed like you didn’t want to watch anything.

I'm not allowed to talk at night yet you message someone (and show me) that you are there if they want to talk.

Just be there for everyone else.

We’re living in a falling apart suitcase essentially where I’m just rotting away and can’t see my brothers who are growing up really fucking fast.

Why wouldn’t I be upset?

I live on a property that you can’t fucking separate yourself from, no matter how it kills me, and I’m not even wanted here, just an attached person to you.

But whatever. I should be “grateful” and allow myself to be guilted because that’s what everyone wants.

I can’t even live for myself, yet I’m supposed to just give up on fixing myself just to be a willing slave just like you are now and do not even try to see how wrong it all is.

But what do I know?